BDSM vs Abuse



WHAT THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BDSM AND ABUSE? THEY SEEM LIKE THE SAME THING! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?! YOU'RE SICK!


Most of Us who are into BDSM have heard things like the above statement at least once. Sometimes far more frequently. I get it. To an onlooker who knows diddly squat about the BDSM world it can look like abuse. We engage in restraining people, pain, humiliation, and more. However, what We do is not abuse. No where near it. Hell, most of what We do turns Us on.


SO WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?


1) CONSENT

In BDSM people negotiate what they want and are comfortable with beforehand. If any person changes Her/his mind at any time a safe word can be said and the play will end. No, not in ten seconds. Right away. As soon as play stops being consensual it is abuse because it no longer involves consent.


2) R.A.C.K. AKA RISK AWARE CONSENTUAL KINK

We only want to "hurt" people in ways that are as safe as possible and that they've consented to. BDSM isn't something you dive into the deep end in. Hell no. If you don't know what you're doing you can get hurt or hurt someone, physically or mentally. BDSM takes time to learn. You need to learn how things are safely done. You need to know the right questions to ask a partner before play so you don't hurt them or trigger past trauma.


3) TRUST

You don't or at least shouldn't engage in BDSM with someone(s) you do not trust. You need to trust that the person(s) you're playing with knows what they're doing and won't hurt you in a way that you do not wish to be hurt or has lasting damage. You need to trust that they'll stop immediately if you say your safe word. You need to trust that they will respect and honor your limits.



Abuse doesn't take any of the above into consideration. There is no consent or way to make it stop. One's safety and wellbeing do not matter. It may end in physical, emotional, or mental long term trauma or damage. The abuser does not listen or respect the one being abused.


#BDSM #RACK #Consent #BDSMvsAbuse #Trust #Respect #Kink #Fetish #Domination

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