ARE YOU A BALANCER OR THE SAME ACROSS THE BOARD?
First things first, I am not using actual terms so you probably won't find them in the Dictionary or the Urban Dictionary. I'm speaking in My own lingo. However, this phenomenon is well known in the BDSM world, even if the words are different.
BALANCER: A person who uses BDSM or their BDSM persona to balance themself out. A person who may not be dominant, submissive, etc. in all areas of Her/his life.
-A strict and powerful judge who is always in charge who is submissive behind closed doors.
-A manly man in public but a sissy while participating in BDSM.
-An employee whose job consists of doing whatever the boss wants who is a Dominant in Her/his sexual life.
THE SAME ACROSS THE BOARD: (Sometimes referred to as a "True" Dominant/submissive/whatever. I don't like the word "True" as it implies that it's the only way and right way to be something.) Someone who is always or almost always Dominant/submissive/etc in Her/his daily and sexual life.
-A housewife who loves doing what Her husband tells Her in Her daily and sexual life.
-Someone who enjoys serving and doing what others want in daily life and in BDSM.
-The breadwinner and the leader in all things S/he participates in who is Dominant in the bedroom.