"I'm interested in BDSM. Where do I start? How do I get into it?"
Congrats, you stumbled upon something that lit a fire in you. Maybe you're finally acting on a fetish you've long repressed or maybe you just discovered that you're into something. Perhaps you saw a video, read a book, watched a porno, read some erotica, or came across a website and you became intrigued. Problem is you have no idea how to begin your journey into the BDSM world.
My suggestions will be based on living in Los Angeles where BDSM is semi accepted, events and classes are held, and where porn and literotica is legal. If you live in a different country where laws and social norms are different or if you don't live in a city these may not work for you. Take what you can from this. Hopefully, you can at least travel somewhere if there are certain things you wish to explore.
FETLIFE
Fetlife is by far My favorite BDSM website. It's free but asks for a small fee if you wish to view all areas of the site. It's a huge community of BDSM people. It encompasses almost all fetishes, kinks, interests, sexual orientations, and labels.. You can read others' blogs or write your own. Post your own pics or videos or watch others'. Join and explore groups where you can ask and respond to topics or just read about them. There are events listed that you can browse by name, location, or activity. Some are free while others cost money but most are available to the public. Attend a munch (kinky people get together) to meet like minded people or attend a class to learn how to do whatever it is that you're interested in. It's a great way to get to know others in the community and become involved. If you are worried about privacy know that you don't need to post any pictures of yourself or your name. Hell, you can choose a scene name (BDSM name).
EVENTS
Google BDSM events or parties in your area or an area you frequent. I always go to DomConLA because it's right here in LA. There's FetishCon, DomCon NOLA, German Fetish Ball, etc. There are events for certain genders, kinks, orientations, and everything else. There are also events that include encompass and include everyone.
CLASSES
Going to classes is very important. It doesn't matter if you hire an expert in the area you're interested it or go to classes with multiple people. It just matters that you learn, especially the safety aspects, of whatever you wish to dabble in. Classes are also a great way to see if what sounds exciting to you is actually something that you wish to pursue. You can find classes through web searches, events, parties, or events. Please note that watching a YouTube video does not constitute safe learning. Just don't do it.
BOOKS
There are so many books on BDSM. Just know that not all of them are accurate. Please, dear god, do not read 50 Shades as it glorifies abuse and BDSM is not abuse. Feel free to ask what others recommend as there are so many options. My three favorite BDSM books are: Different Loving by Brame, Brame, and Jacobs, The Ultimate Guide To Kink by Tristan Taormino, and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon.
I hope this helps the beautiful deviant in you get started down the path of BDSM. Never be ashamed of who you are or what you like. As long as whatever you do is done safely and consensually you are not abusive and there is nothing to feel bad or guilty about.
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